dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
