He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
