She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize