Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
