i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
