WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
