just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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