So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
