She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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