no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
