He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
