why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
