How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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