my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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