I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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