It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
