By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
