if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
