...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
