I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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