I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
