brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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