i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
