he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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