best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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