His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
