I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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