Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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