my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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