Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
