One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
