my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
