I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Randomize
