Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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