okay pat passed out under dana's car
Non-Jews are for practice
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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