You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
