On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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