Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
