I skipped work to stalk him.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm both gender and math confused
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize