you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
