i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
