he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
