turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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