careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
