wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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