you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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