Don't you send me to vm
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
