who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
