Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
