biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You peed on a flamingo?!?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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