yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
