she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
