I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize