K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
