You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
