i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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