you would pick up someone in the library
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
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I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
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Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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