idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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