Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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