Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
