They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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