thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
