shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
